It was 24 years ago today, June 20, 1983, at the age of 11, when my Grandpa Dan had passed away. The feeling is the same now as it was then....sadness and incredible grief over loosing someone so special to me.
The one special thing that I carry with me from my Grandpa Dan is the nickname he gave me....MEL...which is why my blog is melsviews. And on special occassion, or with special people, I'll go by that nickname.
I loved my Grandpa so much. He was my best friend. He and my grandma lived in an apartment complex off of Sheridan Drive. Behind their apt. complex were railroad tracks. So everytime we went to visit, Grandpa would do two special things with me. First, we'd sit down and he'd tell me what each key and his keyring was for (he had many!). Then we'd go for a special walk on the railroad tracks behind the apt. building. He'd hold my hand. The memory is vivid.
The last time I saw my Grandpa was a memory I hold close to my heart as well. We had a small family picnic @ Veteran's Park. My brother Matt and I had recently each been awarded a gigantic size trophy for basketball (in high school). So we brought our trophies there to show Grandpa & Grandma. They were proud.
Most importantly, before they left the picnic, Grandpa Dan told us that he loved us. Not something I remember hearing on a regular basis, in person anyways.(BUT I do still have letters & cards from Grandpa where he wrote that he loved us).
It was within the next few days, that my Grandpa woke during the middle of the night, not feeling well, and within a few hours, passed away.
I remember sitting on the glider on our porch after hearing the news from my parents. I was devastated! The special person in my life was gone. I was angry because kids in front of my house were laughing & playing, while I was so sad from loosing my Grandpa.
When I go to the cemetary to visit, I sit and tell Grandpa all about the family; what we're all doing with our lives, about the great-grandchildren, and how much I still miss him and feel sad that he's gone. I cry then like I cried when I was 11. The feeling of the loss never goes away. I remember how difficult the funeral was, and how unbearable it was at the service @ the cemetary when they put his coffin in the wall.
I pray that my Grandma (who is still alive, age 93, and living in a nursing home in poor health) can be reunited with my Grandpa. I can't bear to see her suffer, and the fact that she's loosing her memory more & more as time goes on, and that she's alone in such a cold place. I just want her & Grandpa Dan to be together again.
To Grandpa, Love Mel
Wednesday, June 20, 2007
Sunday, May 13, 2007
My Special Mother's Day & EVERYDAY Gift
The joy and happiness which my child brings me is the BEST Mother's Day gift that I could ask for & receive, and not just on this special day - but everyday!
Today I was greeted with a homemade lunch and my daughter's incredible homemade ice cream cake! She began making ice cream cakes about a year ago, and they have become a favorite at our family parties! For my special meal, my daughter chose & cooked herself - yummy perrogies, with several wonderful side dishes. She and our neighbor had worked together to help make my day a special one, and it was just that & more! No restaurant can compare to a special homemade meal on your special day from your special child!!
To top it off, lots of special hugs throughout the evening. Couldn't ask for anything better!
Even though as mother & daughter, we may and do experience differences, and have days where we might be in a bad mood or not feel well, it's reminders like the special one I received today - that brings back to the forefront of my mind and my heart - the love and special bond between my daughter & I.
So many times life seems to overwhelming, busy or stressful......But today was a reminder of what's truly important - being with and enjoying quality time with the one you love - the child whom you want to give the best you can to! It's a reminder that more often than not, I need to shut the door to the outside world and shut off the stressful thinking process in my head (about work, grad school, housework) - and hug my child, laugh with my child, spend time with my child - while being there with her 100% & wholeheartedly. Only then will the stressors of life will seem trivial, and the joys of life will shine through.
After our special meal today, we went for a drive & ended up at Knox State Farm in East Aurora. There we met a small black horse that came right over to the fence where we were, and began eating grass out of our hands. He let us pet him, and warmed right up to my daugther. It was amazing! My daughter was so excited, because ironically - horses are her recently new-found interest (next to cats of course!) :) We left the area where the horse was to go for a walk on the trail, and returned sometime later to see the horse still picking at grass. This time, we were across a very large stretch of grass area from where the horse was. We yelled over to our new horse friend, "Hi buddy." No sooner did he look up & steadily watched my daughter run across the grass area & up to the fence where he stood on the other side. I watched in amazement! He did not take his eyes off of my daughter up to the moment she arrived to the fence. And he proceeded to happily eat more grass out of her hands, and let her pet him. He had this special look in his eye, as did she. It was heartwarming to say the least!
You see, he too felt the love of this special child as I did today......That's how powerful the love of a child can be.....It brings warmth and comfort to anyone or anything (in this case, an animal) it comes in contact with.
There is no greater gift than the love and joy bestowed upon us by our child(ren)!
Today I was greeted with a homemade lunch and my daughter's incredible homemade ice cream cake! She began making ice cream cakes about a year ago, and they have become a favorite at our family parties! For my special meal, my daughter chose & cooked herself - yummy perrogies, with several wonderful side dishes. She and our neighbor had worked together to help make my day a special one, and it was just that & more! No restaurant can compare to a special homemade meal on your special day from your special child!!
To top it off, lots of special hugs throughout the evening. Couldn't ask for anything better!
Even though as mother & daughter, we may and do experience differences, and have days where we might be in a bad mood or not feel well, it's reminders like the special one I received today - that brings back to the forefront of my mind and my heart - the love and special bond between my daughter & I.
So many times life seems to overwhelming, busy or stressful......But today was a reminder of what's truly important - being with and enjoying quality time with the one you love - the child whom you want to give the best you can to! It's a reminder that more often than not, I need to shut the door to the outside world and shut off the stressful thinking process in my head (about work, grad school, housework) - and hug my child, laugh with my child, spend time with my child - while being there with her 100% & wholeheartedly. Only then will the stressors of life will seem trivial, and the joys of life will shine through.
After our special meal today, we went for a drive & ended up at Knox State Farm in East Aurora. There we met a small black horse that came right over to the fence where we were, and began eating grass out of our hands. He let us pet him, and warmed right up to my daugther. It was amazing! My daughter was so excited, because ironically - horses are her recently new-found interest (next to cats of course!) :) We left the area where the horse was to go for a walk on the trail, and returned sometime later to see the horse still picking at grass. This time, we were across a very large stretch of grass area from where the horse was. We yelled over to our new horse friend, "Hi buddy." No sooner did he look up & steadily watched my daughter run across the grass area & up to the fence where he stood on the other side. I watched in amazement! He did not take his eyes off of my daughter up to the moment she arrived to the fence. And he proceeded to happily eat more grass out of her hands, and let her pet him. He had this special look in his eye, as did she. It was heartwarming to say the least!
You see, he too felt the love of this special child as I did today......That's how powerful the love of a child can be.....It brings warmth and comfort to anyone or anything (in this case, an animal) it comes in contact with.
There is no greater gift than the love and joy bestowed upon us by our child(ren)!
Thursday, January 25, 2007
We Never Know...But We Do Know..
A fire that takes our home and personal belongings; an accident that injures or claims the life of a friend or loved one; a sudden illness; the loss of a job...ANY of these and other unexpected challenges can happen to ANY of us at ANY time...leaving us devastated and in crises...
But each of us can help soften that devastation, help comfort those effected, help ease the pain and suffering...by lending a helping hand and shoulder to lean on...
*A family of nine from Niagara Falls lost their home and personal belongings in a devastating fire in 2006 (mom, dad and children, now ages 11months - 12 years)....
*A local family looses a loved one suddenly in a horrific car accident caused by a drunk driver a few weeks ago....
*A family member suffers an accident last year that leaves her unable to drive and perform daily tasks, and to suffer permanent pain....
*A family learns a few months ago that their very young child is suffering from an unexpected terminal illness....
These are just a few examples of unexpected tragedy and life-changing circumstances that I've personally witnessed in recent months....but unfortunately & realistically, these and other tragedies happen every day, every hour to many individuals and families everywhere...We Just Never Know when that time might come! But what we do know is that we can reach out and help when it happens to someone in our community or family....
As we do not have the power to control all circumstances, we do have the power to control how we react in these circumstances, and to making the choice to lend a hand to those affected by....We are never burdened with more than we can handle...At least not when we maintain faith, hope and a sense of caring for our loved ones & neighbors in need. That we do know!
But each of us can help soften that devastation, help comfort those effected, help ease the pain and suffering...by lending a helping hand and shoulder to lean on...
*A family of nine from Niagara Falls lost their home and personal belongings in a devastating fire in 2006 (mom, dad and children, now ages 11months - 12 years)....
*A local family looses a loved one suddenly in a horrific car accident caused by a drunk driver a few weeks ago....
*A family member suffers an accident last year that leaves her unable to drive and perform daily tasks, and to suffer permanent pain....
*A family learns a few months ago that their very young child is suffering from an unexpected terminal illness....
These are just a few examples of unexpected tragedy and life-changing circumstances that I've personally witnessed in recent months....but unfortunately & realistically, these and other tragedies happen every day, every hour to many individuals and families everywhere...We Just Never Know when that time might come! But what we do know is that we can reach out and help when it happens to someone in our community or family....
As we do not have the power to control all circumstances, we do have the power to control how we react in these circumstances, and to making the choice to lend a hand to those affected by....We are never burdened with more than we can handle...At least not when we maintain faith, hope and a sense of caring for our loved ones & neighbors in need. That we do know!
Saturday, January 20, 2007
Inspired by The Freedom Writers
I just returned from seeing the Freedom Writers movie (GO SEE IT!!)...an inspiring, eye-opening, spirit-lifting story of a young teacher (Erin Gruwell) in a high school in Long Beach, California, who empowered 150 students (labeled "unteachable, at-risk) to change their lives through writing (and ultimately to beat the odds and go on to graduate from high school and then to attend college). Living with/through racism, gang violence, intolerance and fear - these young people were able to discover themselves and discover hope for their future. Erin Gruwell remained enthusiastic, dedicated and determined through initial resistance from students, followed by many obstacles and resistance from fellow teachers. She knew that these young people had the potential to learn and to make it through high school - they just needed to be challenged and given the opportunity. And she was right!
As I work with young people, I share in Erie Gruwell's belief. Young people DO have potential, young people DO have hidden talents & abilities, and most of all, young people DO have hopes and dreams! And us adults DO have the power to guide and support them in reaching their fullest potential; in expressing their feelings and desires in a healthy manner; in fulfilling their dreams! It's easy to tell young people what to do; it's easy to get stressed out by the resistance some youth may display; it's easy to shut off our emotions when dealing with them, to close our eyes to whatever outside struggles and challenges these young people may be faced with that contribute to their lack of motivation and negative attitudes in school or other settings. After all, we have enough to deal with right? WRONG! We may be their only hope, we may be their safety net, their only inspiration - yes even through the resistance. Some young people, as observed in the beginning of Freedom Writers, may put up that facade, be resistant, or carry that negative attitude - for a multitude of reasons. Some may not receive support and nurturance from caregivers or other family members; some may have circumstances that left them feeling rejected, defeated, or angry; some simply don't know any different, that may be what they've always known.
In summary, this movie and true story, is testimony that the worst of circumstances cannot destroy an individual's inner desires, dreams, aspirations, hopes! We have it within ourselves to overcome those circumstances, and to make our dreams come true! And as Miep Gies (the Dutch woman who hid the Frank family) told the students in Ms. Gruwell's class, THEY ARE THE HERO'S!
My utmost respect and admiration to the young people - the Freedom Writers, and to Erin Gruwell - for believing in them - and never giving up or giving in!!
As I work with young people, I share in Erie Gruwell's belief. Young people DO have potential, young people DO have hidden talents & abilities, and most of all, young people DO have hopes and dreams! And us adults DO have the power to guide and support them in reaching their fullest potential; in expressing their feelings and desires in a healthy manner; in fulfilling their dreams! It's easy to tell young people what to do; it's easy to get stressed out by the resistance some youth may display; it's easy to shut off our emotions when dealing with them, to close our eyes to whatever outside struggles and challenges these young people may be faced with that contribute to their lack of motivation and negative attitudes in school or other settings. After all, we have enough to deal with right? WRONG! We may be their only hope, we may be their safety net, their only inspiration - yes even through the resistance. Some young people, as observed in the beginning of Freedom Writers, may put up that facade, be resistant, or carry that negative attitude - for a multitude of reasons. Some may not receive support and nurturance from caregivers or other family members; some may have circumstances that left them feeling rejected, defeated, or angry; some simply don't know any different, that may be what they've always known.
In summary, this movie and true story, is testimony that the worst of circumstances cannot destroy an individual's inner desires, dreams, aspirations, hopes! We have it within ourselves to overcome those circumstances, and to make our dreams come true! And as Miep Gies (the Dutch woman who hid the Frank family) told the students in Ms. Gruwell's class, THEY ARE THE HERO'S!
My utmost respect and admiration to the young people - the Freedom Writers, and to Erin Gruwell - for believing in them - and never giving up or giving in!!
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